Next stop, insanity

Monday, September 25, 2006

Itsy Bitsy Indian Spider

When I was growing up in India, I used to wonder why there was no Spiderman in India. Now I think I know why. Here is why Spiderman cannot survive in India:

  • He keeps touching the open electric wires and getting nearly electrocuted
  • 120°F and 100% humidity. Imagine wearing a skin-tight spandex suit with a hood
  • That cheap Spider-suit he bought on the sidewalks of Mumbai keeps ripping off at uncomfortable places at inconvenient times
  • It’s very hard to focus on the task at hand with all those stray dogs chasing him
  • Since Peter Parker is a non-Indian name, he has to use some ridiculous name like “Pavitr Prabhakar”
  • Vishwa Hindu Parishad and Shiv sena put pressure on him to change the color of his costume to Saffron
  • Some fringe religious groups that worships spiders will get the government to ban taking spider’s name in vain. Since it is impossible to find an animal/insect that is not worshipped in India, Spiderman will have to go with lower life forms like “Hydra man” or “Entamoeba histolytica man”
  • In the slum areas of the big cities that have no buildings, Spiderman will be reduced to using a bicycle for transportation. It’s neither easy nor glamorous fighting bad guys on a bicycle.
  • There will be protests against the obscenity of his skin-tight suit with dubious bulges
  • Frequently gets tangled in kids’ kites and gets sworn at by the pissed off kids
  • Those Diwali rockets are a pain in the ass, literally
I stumbled on this Wikipedia article recently. Apparently there was an attempt at Indianizing Spiderman in a series of Comic books. The names they chose are hilarious:
Peter Parker – Pavitr Prabhakar
Mary Jane – Meera Jain
Uncle Ben – Uncle Bhim
Aunt May – Aunt Maya
Norman Osborn – Nalin Oberoi
Harry Osborn – Hari Oberoi


  • Yeah I read about PP a couple of months back. Has the idea been shelved?? I think "cockroach man" would be really cool don't you? I mean roaches survived Hiroshima and Nagasaki didn't they?? :)

    By Blogger The Inquisitive Akka, at Mon Sep 25, 05:01:00 AM 2006  

  • hehehe... good one.

    Some of the Electric Poles in big cities are such a mish mash of wires, that you wonder - how the Electricians know which wire is headed where !

    By Blogger Apun Ka Desh, at Mon Sep 25, 05:21:00 AM 2006  

  • LOL! This one is just sooooooooo damn funny! Was in splits reading it & they r quite true as well!

    By Blogger Has to be me, at Mon Sep 25, 06:00:00 AM 2006  

  • Lame attempt at humour!!


    By Blogger cardamom, at Mon Sep 25, 06:36:00 AM 2006  

  • lol!!

    By Blogger mommyof2, at Mon Sep 25, 07:54:00 AM 2006  

  • That was real funny!!!! You have an art of writing it and you did it again....
    You never know if someone claims spider as god and poor spiderman can never make tricks against god.

    By Anonymous priya, at Mon Sep 25, 08:01:00 AM 2006  

  • I had read about Pavitr Prabhakar a while ago too - if I remember some of the sketches right, spidey no longer had tights on the bottom, but a dhoti!

    Btw, you've been tagged...

    By Blogger Nee, at Mon Sep 25, 09:10:00 AM 2006  

  • it is funny and i agree

    By Blogger La vida Loca, at Mon Sep 25, 10:55:00 AM 2006  

  • haha.. good one!! also wonder how they would interpret the song "spiderman, spiderman, friendly neighborhood spiderman" and as for those tights protests, maybe spiderman could protest against the free-flowing dhotis!! at least tights don't show as much skin.

    By Blogger Shilpa, at Mon Sep 25, 11:16:00 AM 2006  

  • He wouldn't survive either...He's probably end up shooting dice and become a reggaeton Star...On second thought...

    He might just survive.
    Especially if he started singing Reggaeton..bright future ahead spidey ..


    By Blogger Mary Poppins, at Mon Sep 25, 12:32:00 PM 2006  

  • yeah, hinduism will be def. be hurt...really funny!

    By Blogger Pallavi, at Mon Sep 25, 01:43:00 PM 2006  

  • ha ha! Good one! I have to say though, even though we dont have a spiderman, thank god we dont have batman. Dun like bats.

    By Blogger video, at Mon Sep 25, 02:07:00 PM 2006  

  • Check justads for a pleasant update :)

    By Blogger samurai, at Mon Sep 25, 02:13:00 PM 2006  

  • well we already have our own hero...thankfully not a rip off! hahaha...hanuMAN
    there u go...a cultural history that kicks "ass" even in this era ;)

    By Anonymous Darshni, at Mon Sep 25, 02:19:00 PM 2006  

  • ROFL! Quality mate :):) tnxxx!

    **It’s very hard to focus on the task at hand with all those stray dogs chasing him


    **Pavitr Prabhakar

    thats is soooooo funny! :):)


    By Blogger Keshi, at Mon Sep 25, 06:14:00 PM 2006  

  • Great one again :-).. LOL

    By Blogger Sush, at Mon Sep 25, 08:55:00 PM 2006  

  • ha ha LOL
    my favourite- Spiderman will have to go with lower life forms like “Hydra man” or “Entamoeba histolytica man”

    By Blogger itchingtowrite, at Mon Sep 25, 09:05:00 PM 2006  

  • ha ha lol, the hindi tune of spiderman dubbed version on cartoon network goes 'spiderman spiderman, hamara apna dost spiderman.......'

    By Blogger Cyberkitty, at Mon Sep 25, 10:31:00 PM 2006  

  • The Inquisitive Akka:
    LOL@cockroach man. Ya, Let's hope nobody objects to that :)

    Indian - Lets make Progress:
    Ya, really! If you look at those elecricians in barefoot fixing things, it's very scary!

    Has to be me:
    Thank you very much!

    Tell me something I don't know :)

    Thank you!

    You are so kind. Thank you for the compliments

    LOL@dhoti! Can you imagine somebody jumping buildings in a dhoti!
    The tag will be done, soon, I hope.

    La Vida Loca:
    Thanks buddy

    Ya, that dhoti thing is enough to send Spidey running back into hiding.
    I don't know how the song translates, but however it translates there will be a song and dance scene with 20 women dressed as spiders :)

    Mary Poppins:
    LOL. Imagine Spidey doing Reggaetón in full costume. People would definitely pay to see that

    Thanks :)

    Ya! I can't imagine how they thought of batman. Those creatures are not knowing for anything special other than hanging upside down and hearing altrasonics.

    Oh my god! Where did you find Bajaj one! It was so nostalgic to hear that song again!

    Cool. "hanu-man" I never thought of it that way.

    Thanks mate ;) Glad you enjoyed it.

    Thank you :)

    He he he. Thanks. I hope you didn't figure out the hidden joke in "Entamoeba histolytica". I mean you don't know where they are found, do you?

    By Blogger Twisted DNA, at Mon Sep 25, 10:45:00 PM 2006  

  • Cyberkitty:
    Oh, I didn't know it got dubbed into Hindi. It's always funny to watch Western cartoons or movies dubbed into Hindi :D

    By Blogger Twisted DNA, at Mon Sep 25, 10:47:00 PM 2006  

  • hilarious...yes i read about the indian spider man peter prabhakar or similar :)

    wonder what they'll think of next :)

    By Blogger Aqua, at Tue Sep 26, 12:11:00 AM 2006  

  • You forgot one thing....
    Spiderman would be continuously threatened by the following people.

    1. Crazy Clerics issuing fatwas against him for flying around in a spider-costume (These guys can deem anything as unislamic)

    2. Animal-rights' activists who would think that spiderman is insulting the spider by acting like a man, thereby robbing the spider of its natural habitat

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Tue Sep 26, 12:50:00 AM 2006  

  • i repeat are completely jobless!!! but i loved it anyway...

    By Blogger the mad momma, at Tue Sep 26, 02:48:00 AM 2006  

  • hehe. lovely post! very creative! :) made me laugh!! :)

    what's your email id?

    By Blogger Harini, at Tue Sep 26, 07:19:00 AM 2006  

  • That was hilarious.Now I know why there can never be an indian spiderman.

    By Blogger starry nights, at Tue Sep 26, 08:49:00 AM 2006  

  • ..the 120 temp with the 100% humidity would be enough for me to not want to fight crime...

    everyone would have to fend for themselves..

    I don't think I would make a good superhero.

    just sayin'.

    well, unless I can be, "Boob Girl" then I am all for fighting crime. Less clothing, more interesting crimes..

    By Blogger Party Girl, at Tue Sep 26, 10:34:00 AM 2006  

  • This is gud.

    By Blogger How do we know, at Tue Sep 26, 11:26:00 AM 2006  

  • Ultimate man! Thats too funny! you really kept me laughing so hard!

    By Blogger indianangel, at Tue Sep 26, 05:07:00 PM 2006  

  • btw why dun call him SpiderSubramaniam LOL!


    By Blogger Keshi, at Tue Sep 26, 07:46:00 PM 2006  

  • no clue.. enlighten me if it is not "flag" worthy....

    By Blogger itchingtowrite, at Tue Sep 26, 10:53:00 PM 2006  

  • Aqua:
    Let's hope they think of something original rather than copying :)

    ROFL@fatwa, ya didn't think of that!

    Well, since animal rights do not technically cover the spiders, they will start a new People of Ethical Treatment of Insects (PETI) :)

    the mad momma:
    He he he. Idle man's brain is devil's blog-shop.

    Thank you

    starry nights:
    Thanks :)

    Party Girl:
    LOL@Boob Girl. What is her super power? Stunning people ;)

    How do we know:
    Thanks :)

    Glad you enjoyed it!

    LOL. Didn't think of that either. Thinking about it now, it's more appropriate to call him SpiderMani ;)

    Didn't get it. What is "flag worthy?"

    By Blogger Twisted DNA, at Tue Sep 26, 11:25:00 PM 2006  

  • ROFL

    just can't stop laughing at this one...

    By Blogger the sunflower, at Wed Sep 27, 01:57:00 AM 2006  

  • ROTFL! Just plain brilliant!

    By Blogger Perspective Inc., at Wed Sep 27, 02:09:00 AM 2006  

  • how do u cook up such hilarious stuff pal!!!

    I am rolling on the floor still!

    By Anonymous chandni, at Wed Sep 27, 03:53:00 AM 2006  

  • Hilarious!

    By Blogger Rohini, at Wed Sep 27, 06:00:00 AM 2006  

  • thats hilarious esp the name section...well if spiderman to wear that tight fitting out fit, he will most probably suffer from heat stroke.... peter parker= beta prabakar... haha..

    By Blogger my life...., at Wed Sep 27, 11:21:00 AM 2006  

  • Thats hilarious! I can't believe they did print an indianized version of Spider-main.

    By Blogger Swapna, at Wed Sep 27, 01:34:00 PM 2006  

  • LOL that made me laugh!

    By Blogger Becky, at Wed Sep 27, 01:51:00 PM 2006  

  • the flag button on the blog which u hit if the content is objectionable.

    By Blogger itchingtowrite, at Wed Sep 27, 09:43:00 PM 2006  

  • This is hilarious.. I loved the part about distraction by being chased by stray dogs..right on.. come to think of it, we can imagine the same scenario for ALL _____wood movie heroes too! Imagine Chiranjeevi chasing the bad guy and a skeletal white dog with black spots and raggedy tail incessantly barking and chasing him!!

    By Anonymous Dagny, at Wed Sep 27, 11:32:00 PM 2006  

  • the sunflower:
    Welcome here. Thanks :)

    Prespective Inc:
    Hey nice to see you. Thank you so much.

    cooking up is easy, the actual cooking is somehting I can't master :D

    If mama says so :)

    my life...:
    Hey welcome back to blog world.
    LOL@beta prabhakar

    "can't believe they did print an indianized version of Spider-main."
    I would've been surprised but when I was in India last time I saw those Hollywood dubbed moives with ridiculous names. NOthing surpises me any more:)

    Hey! Nice to see you here. Thanks for the comment.

    Hmmm.. so you think the content is objectionable? Care to elaborate?

    "incessantly barking and chasing him"
    LOL. Thinking Chiru like that is hilarious. Now imagine Brahmanandam in the same position, only he keeps talking back to the dog.

    By Blogger Twisted DNA, at Thu Sep 28, 12:00:00 AM 2006  

  • btw buddy if you want to know what REAL humour THIS... i hope much of the doubt in your mind would be cleared up!!

    By Blogger cardamom, at Thu Sep 28, 02:01:00 AM 2006  

  • T-DNA, It's really funny ! Thanks for your Imagination & sense of humour ,it did make me visualize an Indian spiderman with Saffron costume cycling around ;)enjoyed reading with a hearty laugh....:)

    By Anonymous Lera, at Thu Sep 28, 02:09:00 AM 2006  

  • haha. good one :)

    even better is the chiru and brahmanandam chase with a dalmatian in the mix. :)

    By Blogger rads, at Thu Sep 28, 01:16:00 PM 2006  

  • Funny stuff as always. Krrish is my hero.

    By Blogger Alan, at Thu Sep 28, 06:03:00 PM 2006  

  • ROFLZZ @Spidermani!

    hahahaha Im laughing soooo much here my stomach hurts!!


    By Blogger Keshi, at Thu Sep 28, 10:38:00 PM 2006  

  • cardamom:
    "if you want to know what REAL humour THIS"
    And that links to your blog? My, my. Modest is not our forte, is it?

    Don't forget the dhoti :D Thanks for stopping by.

    Hey, welcome!
    he he he. Hmmm, Telugu eh?

    Krrish, hmmm, I have been sparing him so far :) I hope you wont mind if I take a couple of shots at some point :D

    Howdy! I am so happy that you like the stuff!

    By Blogger Twisted DNA, at Thu Sep 28, 10:55:00 PM 2006  

  • it was in response to your smug "tell me something i don't know :)"...and the previous comment was an 100% honest one...i mean how can anybody start rolling on the floor reading this stuff,hehehe the comments were more humorous than the post...buddy your previous posts are better...chill

    By Blogger cardamom, at Thu Sep 28, 11:19:00 PM 2006  

  • ok..happy b'day to me- i have figured out the entamoeba histolityca bit- i mean where it's found.. & the answer is not flagworthy...

    By Blogger itchingtowrite, at Thu Sep 28, 11:59:00 PM 2006  

  • itchingtowrite:
    Damn, I was so stupid. I didn't get it when you said "flag worthy." Now I got it! So you figured out, huh :)

    By Blogger Twisted DNA, at Fri Sep 29, 12:04:00 AM 2006  

  • Hey, the idea of spiderman must have come from Hanu man, the original .

    and besides our film stars keep doing that stunts in all the films!!

    By Blogger chitra, at Fri Sep 29, 01:55:00 AM 2006  

  • You touched the 5o mark. A first. Not a last I wish for your blog.

    By Blogger Shreemoyee, at Fri Sep 29, 09:42:00 AM 2006  

  • Hmmm, Telugu eh?

    I'd like to think 100% but let me not kid myself. :))

    By Blogger rads, at Fri Sep 29, 11:51:00 AM 2006  

  • twisted dna, that was funny. And so are your earlier blogs :)

    Dang, this bloghopping is addictive ...

    By Blogger prakash, at Sat Sep 30, 03:34:00 AM 2006  

  • LOL, wow =P MuCh LuV <3

    By Blogger Quz Boss, at Sat Sep 30, 09:14:00 AM 2006  

  • Spiderman with sweaty armpits just doesn't seem to be a good idea somehow.

    By Blogger Trundling Grunt, at Sat Sep 30, 06:04:00 PM 2006  

  • So funny...I liked Spidermani idea :-)...

    By Blogger dumbdodi, at Mon Oct 02, 12:25:00 AM 2006  

  • prakash:
    Thanks! Ya, bloghopping is quite addictive!

    quz boss:
    Thanks for stopping by!

    trudling grunt:
    Haha! No it doesn't seem like a good idea :)

    Thanks Radhika. Glad you liked it.

    By Blogger Twisted DNA, at Wed Oct 11, 09:49:00 PM 2006  

  • My god!!Ws this ur creation?????

    Why do I call u DN????I think I should call u TD...but DN sounds cuter! :D

    By Anonymous Neha Phillips, at Mon Oct 16, 04:32:00 AM 2006  

  • heh heh heh, very funny!! PP on a bicycle..heh heh..can't stop laughing

    By Blogger Varsha, at Tue Oct 24, 01:39:00 AM 2006  

  • lol funny

    By Blogger visithra, at Fri Nov 10, 07:37:00 PM 2006  

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