Where is North?

Here is a a conversation that keeps repeating.
The scene consists of me and my friend.

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Friend and I entering stage left

Me: You Northies ...

Friend interrupts me, raising a stern hand

He (articulates ev.ery syl·la·ble): I am not a Northie

Me: Of course you are

He: I am from Nagpur, for God's sake

Me: My point exactly. You are a Northie

He: How does that make me a Northie?

Me: Are you from Andhra, Tamil Nadu, Kerala or Karnataka?

He: No

Me: Therefore you are a Northie. Anybody who is not from the southern 4 states is a Northie. Do I have to make it any clearer?

He: That's a demented logic

Me: What is wrong with you Northies? A guy from Nagpur claims he is not a Northie. A guy
from Bombay is not a Northie. The guy from Delhi is not a Northie nor is the guy from Kolkata. Let me state it for the record, you are all Northies.

He: Whatever. North is relative anyway

Me: That is what every run-of-the-mill wimp says when he knew he completely and miserably lost the argument.

He: I said "whatever," Madrasi

I lunge at him in rage, hold his collar and pull him towards me, his eyes are a foot from mine, my face contorted with anger. (didn't you see any South movies?) I speak in a hoarse voice, my spit splattering on his face.)

Me: Don't... ever... call me... a Madrasi. I am from Andhra.