Chatter's guide to real life

Chat/IM has become so prevalent a medium of communication that some times we may have to remind ourselves how the real world works. Here are a few things chronic chatters have to remember when dealing in real life.

• It is not appropriate to ask "asl" when you meet a new person in real life. It is offensive, especially the "s" part.
• When you hear something funny it is customary to exercise your facial muscles and exert a laugh. Saying "lol" may not be considered as an alternative
  
• Do not be tempted to enact ROFL
• Buzzing, nudging or any other form of physical violence to gain attention generally leads to misdemeanor charges
• Do not attempt to have two independent conversations with two people at the same time
• If you do attempt the above, bear in mind that, by a phenomenon too complex to explain, the said individuals can hear each other's conversation. So saying "hi" to one and "the loser is here" to other might lead to unpleasant situations.
• There is a no real life equivalent of LMAO. Please do not try to invent one
• You can't leave offliners. So don't shout something in a guy's cube when he is not there and expect him to "get it" when he comes back