Next stop, insanity

Thursday, June 15, 2006

The importance of missing her

One of my friends has recently been going on several unexpected business trips. His travels have mostly been in the US but he is scheduled to go to Germany for a two week trip.

When I visited him and his wife last week, I inquired him about his upcoming trip. He quickly shhhh’d me. He asked me, sotto voce, not to bring the topic up because his wife was mad about the trip. Being his loyal friend, I promptly asked his wife what the matter was. She flatly said, “No I am not mad about the trip.”

When a woman flatly says she is not mad about A, it means she is mad about B, C, D and a bunch of other things. After some cajoling she finally revealed the real reason, saying “I am not mad about his going on the trip. I am disappointed (read furious) that he seems ecstatic to go on the trip, as if he were happy to be away for some time.”

I was thinking there was going to be some heated discussion but my friend, being a wise man he was, quickly initiated emergency procedures and apologized to her profusely. He assured her that he was going on the trip only because he had to and so on and deftly brought the situation under control.

Isn’t that funny? His wife was okay with his trip as long as he regretted the trip. And, he never felt the need to express to her that he would miss her as much as she did him. We men are completely ignorant to such subtleties I guess!


  • I wonder, if it was SHE that had to travel, and she looked forward to it, with no seeming remorse or intent to miss her husband, if he would have felt similarly? Perhaps not. She was feeling insecure, poor dear. Happens to the best of us, one time or another.

    By Blogger gnightgirl, at Fri Jun 16, 12:35:00 PM 2006  

  • happens all the time....
    from girlfiends cribbing that their boyfriend do not love coz they dont say so in as many married couples...

    a typical converstaion between a dating couple wud go smthing like this:
    girl: i love u
    boy: mmhmmm
    girl: i said, i love u
    boy: ditto
    girl (close to tears): u dont love me!!!!
    boy (baffled): but i jst said i did!!

    here's a scene involving a married couple:
    wife's constant cribing: u don't love me anymore!!! u r not like u used to be before...u used to love me!!!
    the poor hubby has no clue what hit him...

    women r from venus n men r from mars, after all!!! ;-)

    By Anonymous nithya, at Fri Jun 16, 12:59:00 PM 2006  

  • He did a good job at reassuring her.

    When my husband used to travel he would say: "It is a beautiful place, but I will never enjoy it as much because you won't be there with me."

    That didn't keep me from missing him, but it made me feel better.

    By Blogger Momo, at Tue Jun 20, 08:41:00 AM 2006  

  • There are a few magic words you always tell a woman .. Never forget that ..


    By Blogger Ilaiy, at Tue Jun 20, 09:39:00 AM 2006  

  • Good point, gnightgirl. I am thinking, men may not say it out loud but I bet he will feel the same way.

    Nitya: Lol@the dialog. In majority, if not all, relationships, women seem to grow insecure for some reason. Men certaily share half the blame for it.

    Momo: Yuor husband sounds like a very considerte guy. Not many men are like he and me ;)

    Ilay: "There are a few magic words you always tell a woma"
    Plaese enlighten us :)

    By Blogger Twisted DNA, at Tue Jun 20, 09:50:00 AM 2006  

  • :-)I don't think it's ever as straightforward as saying women want this and men want that. communication is pretty difficult as far as i can see full stop! i think there are plenty of men who've been in the same boat whose girlfriends are going away and they'd like to feel missed etc. etc.

    i've personally never subscribed to this idea that women are from venus and men from mars - but i do think that thinking like that means people justify their own behaviour. a lot girly mags justify what they think classifies as feminine behaviour
    (including silly things like 'cribbing', expecting attention from female friends all the time because that's what they're there for etc. bitching when said friends haven't spent 100% of their time listening..;-) ) and then when some people behave like that, they don't feel as if they ought to apologize for such behaviour but no - it's fine because its what girls do and are expected to do. there are obviously plenty of men around who might want to try the same sort of thing but receive a much shorter shrift when they do try...

    By Anonymous sonia, at Wed Jun 21, 02:51:00 AM 2006  

  • yeah ..
    it's hell of a job understanding a woman

    By Blogger Mindinside, at Sun Aug 06, 02:40:00 AM 2006  

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