Next stop, insanity

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

911 cheat sheet

In some random TV show I happened to catch a glimpse of, there was a woman calling 911. She was huffing, puffing, yelling, cursing and sobbing on the call to 911. Not many people mastered the art of calling 911 like she did. For those people who don’t know what to do after calling 911, here are some tips:


  1. Speak as fast as you can. After all you want get the message across quickly.
  2. Punctuate your account with abundant "Ohmigod"s for the dramatic effect.
  3. Remind them multiple times, "Come quickly. Come quickly." Unless you tell them, how would they know it's an emergency?
  4. If the operator doesn’t panic even after the above, telling her, “It’s an emergency, bitch!!” might jolt her into action
  5. If it is a medical emergency, don't play the broken phone.Put the patient on the phone directly
  6. Don't forget to start with an opening joke like, "A large pizza for delivery please he he he"
  7. If the operator sounds like a cute girl, don't hesitate to flirt with her.They appreciate some fun and these 911 chicks are HOT.
  8. When signing your house lease or when calling 911, it is important to understand the reason for each question.So for every question the operator asks, take time to ask "Why do you want that information?"
  9. The operator might be very impressed and hence help quicker if you use the police jargon you heard in the movies, you know, "We have a 433 here. Dispatch 122 ASAP"
  10. Call back every 90 seconds to make sure help is on the way

Please do take time to check out these real 911 tips: Link and Link

24 Comments:

  • *If the operator doesn’t panic even after the above, telling her, “It’s an emergency, bitch!!” might jolt her into action*

    hahah!...U got me in splits with that one!Hilarious!

    By Blogger Anand, at Tue Aug 01, 01:45:00 AM 2006  

  • LOL

    By Blogger Perspective Inc., at Tue Aug 01, 02:11:00 AM 2006  

  • "We have a 433 here.Dispatch 122 ASAP"

    LOL!

    By Blogger Anu, at Tue Aug 01, 08:10:00 AM 2006  

  • Hysterical! I once called them when a friend was locked out of her apartment. Must say they're super-speedy.
    Blog away! :-)

    By Anonymous Dilnavaz, at Tue Aug 01, 09:06:00 AM 2006  

  • Your 4th tip

    ("If the operator doesn’t panic even after the above, telling her, “It’s an emergency, bitch!!” might jolt her into action"),
    was interesting but I guess that might change the situation altogether.May be no one will show up :):)

    By Blogger SM, at Tue Aug 01, 10:24:00 AM 2006  

  • Well, if you call 911 here tip # 4 comes in handy...especially when the 911 lady (who I don't think are too Hot in PR) tell ya, there is no one to take your call, everyone is on their coffee break...

    By Blogger Mary Poppins, at Tue Aug 01, 11:06:00 AM 2006  

  • Hehe nice tips. I don't remember the name, but once I saw one kid movie. The kids had an emergency and two of them went to one phone booth. The first one asks the other, "What is the phone number for 911?" The other one says,"don't no". And they could not make the call.

    In EU it is 112. And the coincidence between 9-1-1 and 9/11! freaky eh!

    By Blogger greensatya, at Tue Aug 01, 12:01:00 PM 2006  

  • *If the operator sounds like a cute girl, don't hesitate to flirt with her.They appreciate some fun and these 911 chicks are HOT.*

    Lol!..u seem to know a lot about the 911 chicks...i need to tell ur wife!

    By Blogger Ekta, at Tue Aug 01, 06:20:00 PM 2006  

  • I think you have called 911 many times.you know alot about those chicks.

    By Blogger starry nights, at Tue Aug 01, 08:24:00 PM 2006  

  • he he!

    and what if I make the pizza delivery joke and it gets taken seriously. Btw, i'll be having pizza tonite. (Not that anyone cares much for info like that but...I'll shut up now.)

    By Blogger Mukta, at Wed Aug 02, 12:02:00 AM 2006  

  • dilnavaz:
    Thanks for the blogroll :)

    sharda:
    I don't know... I never tried it. I will let somebody try it first though

    mary poppins:
    coffee break at the 911? No kidding!
    "Somebody is going to shoot a guy here"
    "Can't he wait until we finish coffee?"

    greensatya:
    Ha ha. When I was really young, I asked at a theatre, "How much is the Rs. 10 ticket?"

    ekta:
    Please don't tell my wife.. she is a feminist. She will be extremely mad for calling those girls "chicks" :)

    starry nights:
    Ya, I practically use 911 as 1-900-party-hard line. :P

    By Blogger Twisted DNA, at Wed Aug 02, 12:08:00 AM 2006  

  • mukta:
    "and what if I make the pizza delivery joke and it gets taken seriously."
    Then at least you are not going to die of hunger :) Hunger is also an emergency you know.

    By Blogger Twisted DNA, at Wed Aug 02, 12:10:00 AM 2006  

  • LOL. Btw why is it that they have only chicks at 911 on the phone? Nice blog you have here. Enjoyed it. :)

    By Blogger Suji, at Wed Aug 02, 04:42:00 AM 2006  

  • liked the jab on pizza delivery..heheh

    By Blogger La vida Loca, at Wed Aug 02, 08:46:00 AM 2006  

  • ROFL!

    **"We have a 433 here. Dispatch 122 ASAP"

    hahahaha!


    How abt this:
    Come soon or I'll rumor ur impotent?

    Keshi.

    By Blogger Keshi, at Wed Aug 02, 10:26:00 PM 2006  

  • and how would you know about the 911 chicks being hot, hmmmm ;)

    By Blogger Madame Mahima, at Wed Aug 02, 10:28:00 PM 2006  

  • hey, i guess it was ur first time in my world, just followed ur footsteps and landed here.

    nice to know that i have a fellow blogger in the same state.
    chalo will have a bloggers meet soon,
    er,,kuch intro hojaaye ?

    By Blogger dharmu, at Wed Aug 02, 10:36:00 PM 2006  

  • he he he!

    By Blogger spoon, at Thu Aug 03, 01:47:00 AM 2006  

  • lol.. that was fun man... nice post..

    By Blogger Apy, at Thu Aug 03, 02:28:00 AM 2006  

  • did u ever flirt wid the 911 chicks? i guess u did!!!

    By Blogger harshavardhan reddy, at Thu Aug 03, 02:47:00 AM 2006  

  • haha...
    good one

    me bk to the blogging world...
    blog updated...check it out!! :)

    By Anonymous nithya, at Thu Aug 03, 10:19:00 AM 2006  

  • Thangu for the comments on my blog. Like you I'm a horribly confused desi. However, I can say my 'R's in both the American accent and the Desi accent. Oh, luv ur blog... hilarious!

    By Blogger video, at Thu Aug 03, 06:36:00 PM 2006  

  • "If the operator sounds like a cute girl, don't hesitate to flirt with her.They appreciate some fun and these 911 chicks are HOT."

    LOL .. thats what on lady did last week here in CO .. ofcourse she got arrested later next day!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Sat Aug 05, 07:18:00 PM 2006  

  • good one.

    By Blogger Sush, at Mon Aug 14, 06:53:00 PM 2006  

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